Zombie-Proof Your Home: Windows, Version Zombie.0

Zombie-Proof Your Home: Windows, Version Zombie.0 - Seva Team

Written by Steven D’Adamo

Well, the zombie apocalypse is raging outside, but I’m still alive, and Fort Talk Local has not yet been breached. I have some more tips for you to zombie-proof your home. This time, we’re dealing with windows.

The first question that needs to be asked when it comes to zombie-proof windows is, who needs them? If you’re more concerned with having a nice view of your front yard than you are with zombies breaking in, you probably won’t last long anyway. Windows should give you a view of what’s coming without exposing you to the danger.

1. Board up every window on the first level. Plywood, scrap-wood, or tables work well for this. Bullet-proof sheet metal is ideal. If the barricade can be knocked over or pushed aside, nail it or weld it down. This keeps the Walkers out and your withering sanity in. This applies to sliding glass doors too. Get rid of them. If your garage is attached to the house, block those windows as well. If not, your garage may already be lost.

2. Conceal any upper-level windows with dark sheets or blankets, especially when lighting your house at night. Having light shine through windows, even those on upper levels, is basically the same as screaming through a bullhorn and shooting off firecrackers. A shining light at night is an open invitation for every zombie in sight to come a-knockin’.

3. Use windows strategically to give yourself a vantage point to the outside world. Now, you don’t need a triple-paned bay window to be able to look outside. Choose one or two windows on each side of your house that give you the widest and farthest view. Cover them up as you normally would, but leave one corner or small space covered by a movable barricade, so you can quickly take a peek outside. A PlayStation works well for this — it’s not like you can use it anymore anyway!

Fort Talk Local is burdened with many windows, and two sliding glass doors. Remember that plethora of desks I mentioned last time? Well they’re now blocking the sliding doors, topped with seldom-used whiteboards and rugs. So, even if a pack of zombies breaks through the glass, they’d still have to climb over the desks. Keep in mind that zombies are stupid. It might take them longer than you think to figure out how to climb over random junk in their path.

I hope that helps. We’ll have plenty more to cover, especially if you didn’t already raid the nearest CostCo and are considering eating your shoes. Stay tuned for more zombie-proofing tips to come. Steve out.

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