28 (Mis)Adventures: On Slowly and Perilously Careening on Icy Roads

A blog about life experience and inexperience, by Dallea Caldwell

28 (Mis)Adventures: On Slowly and Perilously Careening on Icy Roads - Seva Team

Stupid. Stupid Saturn. Stupid Saturn stops suddenly. Stupid Saturn stops suddenly, sending us sliding, strategically swerving, and surprisingly… slamming into snow-covered snail-mailbox. That’s my version of the Bernstein B. Book — basically a beary child-oriented version of the Butterfly Effect. No pictures (nothing like an impromptu iWitness news report to make yourself seem insensitive as the passenger in a car accident), but here’s my Snowmageddon 2014 traffic report.

Careening on Icy Roads

I never imagined that careening out of control would be such a gruelingly slow process. I gradually came to terms with the realization that breaks were being applied but inertia stubbornly sustained the car’s already cautious momentum. Impact was not yet imminent with red tail-lights still seemingly several car lengths in the distance.

I slid my seat back and to an upright position to avoid bumping my knees and, once I felt evasive maneuvers taking place and saw the mailbox gradually align with our path, I leaned closer to the driver in a likely vain attempt to avoid shards of side-window glass upon impact.

I may have been over-thinking this, but the amount of calm, rational thinking I was able to accomplish and number of tasks I managed to execute prior to the eventual impact were astonishing.

The other astonishing part was just how much damage a snow-enforced mailbox was able to deliver. The red Hyundai absorbed the impact so that only a dull thud reached my bones, but the right head light, tire well, and hood were Hulk-smashed to shards and loose wires. And, of course, the mailbox itself stood headless with a snapped neck; but, it gave as good as it got.

Several people immediately rushed to our aid. I took the wheel as the driver and a stranger lifted the car out of the pile of snow. But, they also offered this disturbing advice: “If you’ve been drinking get the heck out of here.” We thought it was an indignant accusation and gave a resounding “No,” but realized they were speaking out of sincere concern for our legal well-being — as strange as it sounds.

The homeowner, however, wasn’t even half so kind, although almost as disturbing. He wouldn’t accept direct monetary compensation at all, demanding insurance handle a formal claim instead. He also screamed at us about the number of times his mailbox has been knocked over as if we were part of a conspiracy- a network of mail-box assassins targeting him and him alone.

Not content to simply waste our time and potentially drive up the driver’s insurance, his insistence on a formal police report was another part of his vengeance against all mailbox attackers.

I’m certain that with each mailbox accident, he builds the next to be stronger and more punishing than the last and will not stop until he sees blood on the temples of every wayward driver. I’ve got my eye out for a new brick mailbox by the end of the month. So, watch out on Rt 30 in southern Pennsylvania.

Getting Out of Trouble

Still, nothing like a hair-raising brush with death, timely road-side assistance, and a quick towing to make you count your blessings.

Take heed to this cautionary tale, and drive cautiously. But, if the worst happens, be assured that Seva Call is there for your towing and auto-repair needs. Visit www.talklocal.com or call 877.987.SEVA to get connected to live local pros in minutes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *